一把火

不想要
我健康色的肌肤
还有臭脾气
还有冷淡无情的性格
还有没记性的头脑
还有鲁莽的个性
怎么我觉得我很像你？
我不要这样的我

肚子里一把火
睡觉去
晚安

小宇 终于说出口

还是喜欢这首，
那么久了，
怎么还在中毒……

A sms

5.58pm收到一封简讯
凌晨12.34am才看到：

"Dont try to badmouth people,
i hope you get cursed?"

2.58pm
我还是睡不着
简单的一句话
很容易就背下来了
反反复复

其实早就想好要怎样reply
但打从心里觉得没有用的
到底是谁在背地里badmouth，我都搞不清楚
算了 不重要了
什么好朋友 省下来吧
我都习惯了

明天老板该不会送我去上海动物园吧？

沉默是金

还是觉得很多时候
沉默比较好
心里想的事不一定要说出来
免得说多错多
静静地听 静静地看 就好
和平比任何事重要

mess mess mess!

调不会的生活时间
日夜颠倒
what a messy life...
再努力一点吧。。
这样的生活习惯，很烂！
家里可以开蘑菇园了。。。
哈哈哈。。。

tmr never come

i wish
tmr never come
wana run
run
run
.................................

最近

开始
有点
想念你了
你过得好吗？
朋友问我
还有可能吗？
我答他
“应该没有了”
有一点点辛酸
一点遗憾
一点内疚
可能我累了吧？不懂

生活，好像没那么简单
是我高估我自己了？
与其这样给大家添麻烦麻烦
不如推出算了？
但还是很不甘心
请原谅我在这一方面的固执
请给我一点时间
如果还是一样没有改变
那我会自动离开
也没有面目见你了

还有
鬼
我不懂你是谁
我不懂你为什么要这样做
别让我知道你是谁
我蔑视你！
你走开！

不好意思
我又来这里发牢骚了
呵呵~

alien

today
i hope
life wont be too long
maybe 30 years
maybe 25 years

stop & stare?
or keep going?
still asking myself everyday
still no answer everyday

i am alien
i know im alien
no need remind me.

May

a good month for me
finally i have decided something for future
will get myself ready for it
wont run away again

but still
have to face some1 this month, finally
honestly
i hope
u wont come
what expression i should show when facing u?
what will cross my mind at that moment?
im not sure

btw,
just hope u r fine, nth much
best wishes for u

对，我没有那个本事，
不依赖人，
什么事都自己搞定。
但，关于这件事，
始终让你们失望难过蒙羞了
我也不想这样
该怎么面对，怎么交待我不懂
我没有讨厌他
我只是不懂该怎么面对
对不起
都是我的错
我真的知道是我的错
对不起

每个人都差不多

其实，压力,每个人都有。
寂寞,大家都寂寞。
何必太在意。
只是偶尔难免会难受。。
慢慢收拾心情。。
慢慢复原。。
我会适应的。。
GANBATTE！！！

blackout

i know im going to fall
at the last minute wanna cry for help
but still cant managed to call anybody
perhaps i don't know which person should i ask
helpless...
really helpless................
never mind
if it happens again
i will take care of myself
i have learned not to expect anyone
i take care of myself

Today

Feeling always influencing ppls' emotion
just release myself
only for today
only for tonight......................

Sweet Things

thinking to have a lot of sweet things now...
cheese cake
chocolate
honey
pudding
pancake
waffle cake
ice-blended red bean
&
ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!


worry about getting on weight or diabetic?
well, i dont care!!!

just put aside all those feeling
never think about it
never touch it
not important anymore

愚人的国度

孙燕姿 - 愚人的国度

填词：李焯雄/孙燕姿 作曲：孙燕姿

爱是愚人的国度
看我们演的好辛苦
是你所谓的领悟
我不懂 我不哭

看悲欢喜怒每一步
是疲惫还是依赖的束缚
来你能不能再重复
让我懂 让我哭

再让时间停住
再把字看清楚
不必再说假如
或穿过天地荒芜
借口 不能碰触

爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
曾美丽 但还是不满足
爱是自娱自乐演出
一步一步自我陷入
究竟 是笑 是哭


再让画面停住
把自己看清楚
不必再说假如
或穿过一地荒芜
幸福 不能碰触

爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
曾美丽 但还是不满足

爱是自娱自乐演出
一步一步自我陷入
究竟 是笑 是哭

爱是愚人的国度
不能自拔 不懂退出
我们都回不去最初
怎样爱 也还是不满足
爱是自娱自乐演出
一步一步 自我陷入
结局 是笑 是哭

like to visit your blog recently. though just read 1 or 2 post, it's really enough to keep my energy and spirit up. wish i can be like u, a responsible, confident, self-motivated and determined person. every time when i feel like lost in the air, your blog makes me find my direction back. your words keep telling me do not give up. maybe you don't know how much your articles affecting me, but it's really important to me. thank you very much! same to you too, do not give up. keep on moving!!!!

customer service

went to Immigration Office at Seberang Jaya to settle some foreign workers' matter this morning, which is also part of my responsibilities. i reached there at 9.30am, but surprisingly, the office has already crowded by people, cant even find a space to park my car in the immigration office's car park. without hesitate, i quickly pressed the machine to get my number when i reached the office. first number i got was 635, the present number was only 602 = =''' then i press another number, 849, the present number was just 815, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how long i suppose to wait until i reach my turn?????? this situation immediately ruin my mood.......... i purposely not to go there too early in the morning as i experienced once before, i reached there at 8.30am, but the office counter only open after 9am. this time, i thought i'm so so clever not to go so early, no need to waste my time waiting there, but what's actually happening today? why such a big crowd of people come to office this morning? luckily i met a secondary school friend here, we chat while waiting for our turn. seeing those officers doing their responsibilities by serving the customers one by one. slow, their speed were extremely slowwwwwwwwww.... i wonder how they actually do their job? did they try to speed up as there were so much customers today?

the waiting process was tiring. some of the customers fed up too, keep grumbling there but they can't do anything as they knew it's useless if they make a complaint regarding their dissatisfaction. they knew the complaint wont bring any changes to their performance and efficiency. that's the image of government officers to people, people hope to see changes on them, but they losing hope on them at the same time too. so people never expect more from them, although they were not satisfy....... my friend and i finally reached our turn at 12.30pm, took us 3 hours at the immigration office, sigh....................... after that we went for lunch together and back to work then... tiring day><'''

busy weekend

really tired this few days....5/3/10 went to have a dinner with colleagues at kim hii restaurant at sunway. 20++ pax attended the dinner. finally ms. lai attended the dinner with us too after her two months maternity leave. she will come to work again on next monday. ha, i never thought i will be drunk because of plenty glasses of red wine. in fact, i overestimated myself ==''' probably cant drive home myself. so after the dinner, i went to ktv with 3 colleagues at amp square in sunway carnival. 3 something only went back home... such an enjoyable night!

6/3/10 woke up at around 9am. picked up 3 ipoh friends from bus terminal and a friend from crystal suits, went to class together. not feeling well, dizzy and no appetite, feel like wanna vomit, drank too much yesterday i guess, so bad... T.T can't even remember what i learn that day, have to recall back.... after class went to gurney plaza kim gary to have dinner with class mates. no appetite at all, just slept there & had a cup of honey milk... feeling much better then~ thank you much for so caring about me, my dear friends! after that sent 2 friends to hostel and 3 friends to crystal suits. had a small glass of red wine again = =''', just a little only = ='''.... enjoying the chicken family performance by weekday class's students too hahahha... when reached home i just took a bowl of soup & took shower then went to bed. finally i'm here with you, my lovely snoopy~!

7/3/10 woke up at around 9 again. feeling better. thanks, mum for preparing lunch for me before i went out! i really appreciate that~~~ went to bus terminal to buy tickets for friends, picked up friends at crystal suit and hostel, then went to class again. managed to learn more that day, to get more energy, motivation and spirit too! i dont want to be 'sang kancil' watch me transform into somebody one day in future yea!!! watch me!!!!!! after class sent ipoh friends to bus terminal again. had dinner with sir, ms chong, katherine & other friends somewhere at penang road.

actually it's quite tired these few days, my leg cramp too at night after traveling for the whole days. but really feel glad while helping my friends when they need me.

GOOD LUCK & ADD OIL, MY DEAR FRIENDS! STRIVE FOR YOUR DREAM YEA!!!

Busy Day

23-02-2010, i was invited by Huey Tyng to perform with 3 other players at Eastin Hotel. it was a Digi event, but don't know what was it actually about. so i took half day leave and met a friend at blogger cafe at raja uda. we have a easy & comfortable chat there... after that i rushed home and got myself ready to meet up Qi Sheng at his musical center at BM. finally we reach Eastin Hotel at around 6pm.

the other 3 players were Qi Sheng, Ee Ming and Foo Shen. we were the only team of player requested to welcome the guests outside the ballroom before their function start at 8pm. we performed from 6pm - 8pm.

this was my 3rd experience perform with Qi Sheng, a very talented and passionate guzheng teacher. i still remember the 2nd performance with him at G Hotel (also invited by Huey Tyng). the purpose to perform at Eastin Hotel & G Hotel was the same, but the atmosphere at G Hotel was not so comfortable as we'd been treated like invisible people. haha, perhaps the guest that day was attracted by other exhibition team...

for this time, the responses from the guests were better and more supportive. feel comfortable and warm for that, feel good!

after reached home,
started doing something pointless...

gong xi fa cai! huat ar~~~!

banana's fingers?
still wondering why a friend said my dearest fingers look like banana = . =

ma banana's hand?

flower flower clothes at home
since now reach the trend of flower (quite outdate)
so i also join the trend too.. (wu liao ppl)

ma fake eye lit XD!

suddenly felt very very hungry.....
bite ang bao!!!


11.25pm
finally i was sitting in front of dining table having my dinner....
#
##
###
####
#####
######
CHIANG CHIANG!
duck maggie mee
looks bad,
but taste really great!
i was seriously starve!!!

seriously exhausted too
can't wake up in the next morning
next next morning
until today....
=)

Holiday Mood!

what will my mood be after 9 days of Chinese New Year holiday? gush....i wish i could stay at home with family or hang out with friends everyday, even though sometimes i can feel the boredom within this holiday. that's life right? when we was in school life we always hope to get rid of the so-called stressful life, hope that we can enter working life as soon as possible. finally when we enter the job market we will found the cruelty of reality and life become more stressful. we will wish time can be reversed again, back to school life in which that is the most enjoyable moment. that's it, human never satisfy never contend with the current life they are having. well, i'm one of them too, after all, i'm human too^^ but if you ask me: 'you prefer uni life or working life?' definitely, i've prepared an alternative answer for myself, 'i don like both neither!' yea, that's childish, i know (still proud of this answer ^^).... working life isn't so enjoyable, that's why i wish i could color my own life, fulfill it with something meaningful, something fantastic, something interesting and something excited too XD

wish me luck~! =)

angry

that's why i cant sleep.
hanging here again.
thank you for being with me oways,
my little snoopy~ love u <3

一点点

蛮。。。的，
一点点啦，
尤其是在这一天，
尤其是姐妹都有约会。。。

"可爱"的姐姐
&
"成熟"的妹妹
祝你们幸福快乐哦！
muaksss!

WAORRRRRRRRRRH！

农历新年要到啦
怎么还是没有什么心情
最有心情的时候还是和你们见面的时候
吃饭喝茶废话连篇
没关系，我是真的乐在其中
和你们一块儿，真的很开心

最近做什么事都很想吼
你们知道啦，虎年嘛
我的年
爽的时候WAORRRR
不爽的时候也WAORRRRRRR
你们可别被我吓坏
我很凶！

前几天问了一个比较“亲切”的朋友
“对你来说最难得的事是什么？”
他说：“就是对我蛮重要的人依然还在这世上”
懂得这样想的人，
证明他懂得珍惜身边的人，对他来说很重要的人，
我们没有能力预知下一秒可能发生的事
谁知道下一秒，他/她已不在，或者我已离开？
害怕失去他们的当儿，
学会珍惜吧！
祝大家快乐，健康，平安哦！

盲点

有时候，我在想：
“这个角落
你们看不见对吧？
这就是我字典中所谓的盲点”
如今这时刻，我在想：
不需要再为“缺乏存在感“的自己而懊恼了
最重要的还是心态，因为它影响自己最深
接着影响态度与行动

我没有忘记你/你们，永不忘记
你们偶尔想起我，我已深感窝心
人生中能认识你们是我荣幸（老土一句）
感到骄傲咧！
谢谢噢！

起步

有些犹豫、踌躇、不安的感觉
来自于必须要一个人去实践的决定
未来 含着太多的不定数
走吧，
别害怕 别徘徊 别后退
来吧，
障碍、困难、压力 你们都来吧
我要将你们统统反转过来！
嘿呵！ muahahahhahahahahha!!!!

失落

太迟了？
不应该抱太大希望？
应该安安分分别再发白日梦？
我也明白，梦想总是那么的遥远，那么的渺茫。
但我就是不甘心，
为什么生活不能有一些变化？
多一些色彩，多一些快乐。
至少比目前好一点。
可以让我尝试吗？
我懂，你担心我，
怕我选择错了回不了头，或是浪费时间。。
但得不到你的鼓励与支持，
我还是很失落。。真的很失落。。

退步了

发现自己在很多方面都退步了。
二胡、运动、打字都退步了。
很想找回以前那种____的感觉。
我也不懂怎么形容……

今天终于和大姐去爬山了
还有大姐的一个朋友
大山脚tekun山
隔了一段很长很长的时间没有去哪里了
多久了，不记得了

太久没有运动了吧
羽毛球、排球、游泳都没有了
这样慢慢地移动着脚步爬着
好难好辛苦
还以为自己的体力体质没那么差
真的，一句说完:没用！
心跳沉重的急促的敲打着
顿时天旋地转
耳鸣听不见
不行，再不坐下大概会滚下山去，害人害己！
唉，对自己真的很失望。。。
小狗都走得比我还要快，我实在是差到不行
高估自己了。。。

本来决定了放弃，回家休息算了
但心有不甘
于是继续登山了
还好我和她们成功在第三站会合了
还以为我们到达山顶了呢！太天真了，XD

流了一身汗的感觉很爽，
虽然我不喜欢爬山。
下次再抽空练习吧！

Curl

finally i got curly hair now...
nothing to do on 1/1/2010, so i just went to make it that day.
not really used to it at d beginning,because i feel my head become heavier compare to d previous hair.
now everyday need to spend some time to 'curl' & 'curl' it...quite troublesome actually.
but i still like it very much^^

grey-ing

don't lie,
because when u telling a lie,
u need more & more & more lies to cover it.
don't assume others as monkeys,
we are not stupid...

no longer like this place.
should i leave? or stay & remain silence as usual?
selfish, tricky, inhonest people all around.
there's no secret in this world,
once you tell a person about it no matter how much you trusted him/her.
feeling not safe at all,
cant trust anybody..
that's the only way to protect myself,
the only way to continue my daily life,
the only way to survive...

still need time to accept & adapt & make decision.
sounds grey huh?
im okay.

clumsy

my leg n hand blue black today..
im still a clumsy girl...
never change...haih *><'''

maggie

miss maggie mee now....
hmm...
avoid to get my tummy bigger tomorrow...
fine, so just ignore it!
aawwwwwwwwwwwwwww....it's hard actually!

准备好了吗？

突然步入2010，
我准备好了吗？
没有，真的没有。
只是看到了日期：1/1/2009
才真正了解2009以过去……
飞快地过去……
无声无息，没有道理！

我二十四岁啦！
原来我已活了‘两轮’啦。

过去已过去。
需要时间，慢慢接受，慢慢告别，慢慢放开吧。

自开始工作以来，没有真正享受过，开心过。
生命里不知失去了什么东西，
对生活开始缺乏热情憧憬。

近几个月除了工作，
剩余的时间都把自己关在家里。
原因？
不想出门，等人约?哈哈
享受么？没有，蛮闷的。
睡醒上网，上网睡。
头昏脑涨，昏昏沉沉，迷迷糊糊。
连父亲也担心。
说我没有沟通交际，说我没朋友，说我有心事也找不到人诉说。
对不起，还要让你操心。。

不要再让情绪冲昏了头
需要冷静
少点感性，多点理性，
EMO虫，你去死吧！！！

新年快乐！！！